Managing Anger: A Prophetic Approach to Emotional Regulation
Anger is a natural human emotion—one that can be useful when controlled but destructive when left unchecked. In modern psychology, anger is categorized as a secondary emotion, often triggered by deeper feelings of hurt, fear, or frustration. However, if not managed properly, anger can damage relationships, cloud judgment, and lead to regrettable actions.
The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ), who was the best example of emotional intelligence, gave profound yet simple advice on anger management:
A man came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and asked for advice. The Prophet (ﷺ) simply told him: “Do not get angry.” The man asked again, and the Prophet (ﷺ) repeated the same advice multiple times. (Bukhari)
This hadith is remarkable in its simplicity yet incredibly profound in its application. The fact that the Prophet (ﷺ) repeated the same advice suggests the importance of controlling one’s anger and doing so is a key to success in both spiritual and mental well-being.
Anger in Psychology and Counseling: What Does Science Say?
In modern psychology, anger is recognized as both a physiological and psychological reaction. If left unchecked, it can result in chronic stress, elevated blood pressure, and impaired decision-making. This emotion is frequently associated with previous trauma, unfulfilled needs, or difficulties in emotional regulation.
Therapists use various approaches to help clients understand, process, and regulate their anger, and interestingly, many of these strategies align with the teachings of the Prophet (ﷺ).
Prophetic Wisdom on Anger Management and Counseling Strategies
Pause and Resist Immediate Reaction
One of the biggest mistakes people make when they're angry is acting without thinking. The Prophet (ﷺ) highlighted the need for self-control, a principle that is also found in modern cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “The strong person is not the one who can wrestle others down, but the one who can control himself when angry.”
A widely used CBT technique is the "Stop-Pause-Reflect" method:
Stop before reacting.
Pause to take a deep breath.
Reflect on whether your reaction is helpful or harmful.
Change Your Physical State
The Prophet (ﷺ) advised practical steps to physically de-escalate anger.
He said: “If one of you gets angry while standing, let him sit down. If his anger does not subside, let him lie down.”
This aligns with somatic therapy, which emphasizes that adjusting body posture can influence emotional states. When anger surfaces:
Sit down to break the body's tension.
If needed, lie down to further relax the body.
Engage in muscle relaxation techniques to calm the nervous system.
Use Mindfulness and Deep Breathing
Modern psychology confirms that deep breathing is one of the most effective ways to calm anger.
The Prophet (ﷺ) advised seeking refuge in Allah from Shaytan when angry: “If one of you gets angry, let him say: ‘I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed devil’.”
Walk Away and Delay Your Response
Anger can obscure judgment, often resulting in decisions we later regret. The Prophet (ﷺ) recommended stepping away or pausing before responding to let emotions calm down.
Therapists recommend:
The time-out strategy—leaving the situation for 5-10 minutes before responding.
Practicing the "24-hour rule"—waiting a day before responding to an emotional trigger.
Water as a Cooling Mechanism
The Prophet (ﷺ) taught that anger is associated with heat, and physically cooling down can help alleviate feelings of anger.
He said: “Anger comes from Shaytan, and Shaytan was created from fire. So if any of you gets angry, let him perform wudu (ablution).”
Practical applications include:
Splashing cold water on the face can help trigger a calming response.
Taking a shower or simply washing your hands can also shift your focus from anger to a more relaxed state.
Applying These Lessons in Everyday Life
Anger is a natural emotion, but what truly counts is our reaction to it. In personal relationships, work-related stress, or parenting, the Prophetic model provides practical strategies for handling anger in a way that allows us to express our feelings without bottling them up.
If you start to feel anger building up, take a moment to pause before you respond.
Try changing your posture or stepping away from the situation.
Practice deep breathing and engage in dhikr.
Hold off on your response until you feel more composed.
Consider using water or other cooling methods to help you relax.
Conclusion: The Strength in Self-Control
The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) redefined what it means to be strong—not through physical might, but through the mastery of one's emotions. True strength is found in self-restraint, and the capacity to manage anger reflects a deep level of spiritual and psychological growth.
If the Prophet (ﷺ), despite being one of history's most influential leaders, could maintain his composure, we too can aspire to practice patience, self-control, and emotional intelligence.
May Allah (swt) help us to manage our anger, respond wisely, and seek peace during challenging times.
